A couple of weeks ago no one I know had heard of Raygun, AKA B-girl RayGun, AKA Rachael Gunn, AKA Dr Gunn (an academic professor who lectures on dance and gender politics at Macquarie University. And doesn’t she have some new material for those classes now!)

I didn’t even realise breaking was in the Olympics. And for the record, it shouldn’t be. Nothing that requires a judge to decide the winner should be an Olympic sport. Don’t @ me. I will die on this hill.

But, also for the record, she did qualify by winning the 2023 Oceania Breaking Championship and represented Australia at the 2021 and 2022 world championships. That arguably makes her the best female breakdancer in the country. What that says about the others is a question for those with far more expertise in the area than me. Like most of you, I’ve only been a breakdance expert for four days.

I am however an expert in branding and advertising. And the breaking-neck (see what I did there) speed at which Raygun went from cultural cringe to cultural icon was something to behold. And augurs very well for her future.

Because we love, love, love an underdog.

Remember the Sydney Olympics, when Eric the Eel set the slowest time in Olympic history but had 17,500 fans on their feet clapping him on at the Sydney Olympic Park Aquatic Centre? He’s now the official coach of Equatorial Guinea in Central Africa, training 30 Equatoguinean Olympic swim hopefuls.

Not bad for a guy who responded to a radio ad calling for aspiring Olympic swimmers (Equatorial Guinea had wildcard spots available through an Olympic development program) despite not actually being much of a swimmer and getting to practise just twice a week in a 12-metre hotel pool.

And as a total feelgood fact, in 2006 Eric posted a time of 52.18 seconds for the 100m – a time that would have secured him gold at the 1968 Olympic Games and all preceding Olympics.

And remember our Stephen Bradbury’s unlikely gold medal at the 2002 Winter Olympics when everyone else fell over? Not only is “Do a Bradbury” now an actual phrase in the Australian National Dictionary and not only did he get his own stamp, he also appeared on Dancing with the Stars and Survivor, got some work as a Winter Olympics commentator on Channel 9, and did a couple of TV ads – for an ice skating rink and for Diet Coke. But it’s as a motivational speaker on the very lucrative speaking circuit that he really makes some serious coin. Speakers make between 10k and 30k a gig.

And then there was Eddie the Eagle, a ski jumper who represented England in the 1988 Winter Olympics. He was so terrible that the International Olympic Committee (IOC) later instituted what became known as the Eddie the Eagle Rule, which was designed to stop truly untalented athletes making it to the Olympics by requiring Olympic hopefuls to compete in international events and be placed in the top 30% or the top 50 competitors, whichever is fewer.

However, Eddie laughed all the way to the bank. As well as appearing on four reality TV shows and numerous ads, he also released a book and a video called On the Piste, while a movie of his life was the highest grossing British film of 2016.

And most impressively, he recorded a single in Finnish despite the fact that he doesn’t actually speak Finnish. The song reached No 2 on the charts. And no, I’m not taking the piste!

So where does that leave Our Raygun. Well, I foresee a very lucrative career on the speaking circuit, and at least one reality TV show – my money would be on Dancing with the Stars. There will also be a couple of brands lining up to get her in an ad.

Obviously bananas, Make those bodies sing, would be an obvious one.

Or maybe a beer:

You can get it shaking

You can get it breaking

You can get it any old how

Matter of fact, I got it now

Or:

Aussies don’t give a fourex for what the world thinks of them

Or maybe McCain’s Juicy Corn. I can see the ad now.

We open on a farmhouse on drought-ridden flats. The old farmer sits on the downstairs veranda looking out into the shimmering heat. Suddenly he hears a noise on the corrugated iron roof, and yells out to his wife inside, “Marg, the Rayguns are here!”

The camera pans up to reveal Raygun, breakdancing on his roof.

I’ll see myself out.